Strawberry

      Today was surely a bad day for me. I just think this whole thing of one skin color being better or superior than the other is nonsense. I can’t stand it anymore! Two horrible things happened today that made an exciting day turn into exactly the opposite. At first I was anxious and at the same time pleased of going off for the first time to the market in Strawberry. Big Ma told to go with her to the country store, although T.J. suggested that we went with him and not later on with Big Ma. My brother Stacey thought it was not a very good idea, but still we all went anyway.

      Mr. Barnett, the storeowner is given a list of items from T.J. and he starts to gather up what’s in the list. In the middle of the process a white women came in and Mr. Barnett soon stopped attending us to go and assist the women. I was vey furious at that time. Why couldn’t he finish our list and then attend the women, after all, we got there first. I was surely going to tell Mr. Barnett what I was thinking, but soon, Stacey told me to be quiet, and so I listened. Once the woman was finally gone, Mr. Barnett continued with T.J.’s list. 

      Soon, a little white girl came in and he did the same thing to us. He stopped the filling to attend that little white girl! I mean, I could somehow understand that the woman from before was an adult with certain obligations and maybe she had something important to do. But a little girl? Why did she have preference? Just because she is white? Come on, we got there first! I couldn’t control myself; it was totally unfair with us! I had to speak. And so I did, and again, it did not end up well.

     It ended with Mr. Burnett telling my brother Stacey to take me out of his store, and once I was out Miz Lillian Jean appears right in front of me and I accidently run into her, literally. As if she could tell me what to do, she told me to apologize in a totally impolite way. Mis Lillian jean starts calling me things that I am not, as if she was superior! I was never going to apologize for something like that, especially not to her, who thinks she is better than anyone else just because of that stupid white skin she has. I would certainly apologize if it was someone else, but not her, not after all she had just said to my face. To make things even worse, Mr. Simms comes and grabs me hard by the arm with that fierce look he has and immediately tells me to apologize to his daughter, Miz Lillian Jean. I denied, but soon Big Ma appeared and told me to apologize once and for all. And so I did. I had no choice. There was so much anger that I froze, I could not express myself anymore, no one allowed me to, not even Big Ma. Everyone was against me at that moment and I felt weak, so weak and miserable that only a teardrop fell down my cheeks…

My Favorite Movie!

      My favorite movie without a doubt is Matilda. I love this movie because Matilda is a really independent girl about my age, and I feel that I can really identify myself with her. In the movie she borrows a lot of books from a place called library. She takes them home and reads them, and once she is done, she changes them for new ones. I wish I could have many books as well... That would be so fantastic! Like a dream come true.

      She is a very lucky girl and I was very impressed that she wore sooo many different clothing in just the two hours. I wear the same clothes everyday... I don't have that kind of variety, but you know, I'm already used.

     Matilda is just incredibly smart, so smart that she has superpowers controlled by her mind. Wish I had those kind of superpowers so that I could do whatever I wanted if anyone annoyed me.

     My dream is to actually meet her because I think we could be great friends and even though she is not the same color as me, I think she'd like me. If we were friends she could probably teach me some superpower techniques and also share some of the books she has!

It's Christmas!!

Daddy has come home! I cannot believe it, after so long he is finally here with us. It is the greatest time in the year, Christmas! I missed him so much, I can’t wait to enjoy our time together once again after so long. I just wanted to let y’all know that I am really happy and I wish the best for y’all in this wonderful time of the year. Hope you receive a lot of presents, love and of course a lovely meal with your relatives so you can enjoy spending time with them after so long. Merry Christmas everyone!

I Did Something Wrong....

             I do not know if I am supposed to be happy, sad, proud, disappointed… but I did something wrong, very wrong, and I am afraid someone else will get hurt because of this. Stacey, my older brother, had the idea of making a big slum on the thin road for the bus to sink on its way back. Us, black children go to a different school than white children and we are not allowed to get the bus. Not only because of the differentiation on the skin color, but also because we cannot afford to pay. I still don't understand why...

Every day, my brothers and I have to go walking to school. Due to the slim road, today, the stupid bus forced our way to fall in the soiled water, causing us to stay wet and muted for the rest of the day. Believe it or not, the driver does this on purpose! Just to see my brothers and I fall, and so the white children enjoy laughing at us. It was time for lunch when my oldest brother told us his brilliant idea, which made me agree to join the plan.

We got buckets and shovels from the toolshed to help us because there was not much time. It was the perfect day to dig up a hole on the road, since it was a rainy day and the mud was moisten. This also made it seem more likely that the road could have been washed away like that and it would also keep cars and wagons away.

We carved and carved with fear in our hands and when we looked to see how much work we had done, we realized how big the whole was. It was certainly going to work, I thought. Water covered the slum and the more it rained, the better. We completed this mission by adding more water in, so it would end up practically hidden.

For once in my life I saw Little Man was happy to see the mud spattering upon him. There was almost no time left, so we hurried back to school and stopped at the well to wash the mud off from our arms and feet. After school, we went back to spy on how the bus would fall into our planned trap, but the rain was far too strong and made the hole almost as twice as big. Soon, the bus came towards the big slump and just what we were expecting happened. The bus driver announced that it would probably take some weeks to be fixed, and everyone would have to walk home for a few days. Some of the White children took a wild guess to try jumping the whole, but fortunately, most of them miscalculated and fell in. I couldn't stop laughing! Now those stupid white children would see what it is like to walk to school. We were all undoubtedly happy, laughing all the way home, but I never thought that someone’s life could be at risk because of what we had done.

Back at home, Mr. Avery came when it was almost bedtime and Mama sends all three of us to bed so they could talk privately. I tried to sneak and listen to their quiet conversation and it was no good. Some White people were so furious when they found out what happened with the bus that they were planning to do something real nasty to some Black people. I tried to hear more, although it was not that easy. I felt horrible with myself, thinking that someone could have got hurt because of me; because of something I did for revenge! I know it was worth the laugh, but was it worth a life? No! Of course it wasn’t. I seriously don’t know what to do, neither my brothers do. I guess we’ll just have to wait and hope for the best, so that nothing bad happens to anyone…

At School - First Day

I still can’t believe what happened y’all… Miss Crocker whipped little man and I, and it was for something we didn’t deserve at all!

Today was the first day of school and we had the great opportunity to get our own books. I admit that I was somewhat excited because I never had a book of my very own, only mama did, since she is a teacher she has several books. Miss Crocker explained to us that the country superintendent of schools himself, brought the books down for us, so we had to be extra careful with them. 

    

    Sitting so close to the desk, I could see that the covers of the books, a motley red, were badly worn and that pencils, crayons, and ink had marred the grey edges of the pages. My anticipation at having my own book grew to a sinking disappointed. But Miss Crocker continued to call student by student, each and every one of them looking forward to receive their own book. She finally called me and as I returned from my trip to her desk, I noticed the first graders anxiously watching the disappearing pile. I turned back to little man and his face lit in eager excitement. I was worried of what his reaction would be to see the books in that situation, and not exactly brand new. He could sometimes annoy me but, still, he is my little brother and he seemed so anxious… Well I couldn’t do anything about it so I decided to start reading my book. When I finally looked back up from the world I had drifted in, I saw Miss Crocker sitting at Miss Davis's desk staring fiercely down at Little Man, who was pushing a book back upon the desk. Little man told Miss Crocker that he wanted to change his book because his was dirty, when actually all the books were. Little man went back to his desk and suddenly his eyes grew wide once he opened the only option Miss Crocker had given him. He got so furious after opening the first page that he threw the book with all his anxiety and started to stomp on it like a wild animal. I realized what was going on as soon as I turned on to the first page, where there was this table:

A knot of anger swelled in my throat at that moment and held there. But Miss Crocker directed Little Man to bend over the 'whipping chair’. Now I understood, I understood what Little Man was stressed about. I couldn’t let him get wiped for something like that, he was right, why did we need to get the books at their poorest conditions? Just because of our skin color? Does that matter any way? Just a stupid thin layer of skin can already determine everything? Why?

All my excitement from getting a ‘new’ book faded away in one single second. I just couldn’t understand why did it have to be that way, always. Why was ‘nigra’ not written in capitalized letters while 'White' was? I couldn’t let my little brother be punished for something like that, so I decided it was best to stand up for him. It did not turn out well; after all, I was not able to stop Little Man of getting whipped. The only thing I gained was a whip myself. I just wasn’t confirmed with the situation, and Miss Crocker didn’t seem to understand my point, she just stood up by saying 'this is what we'. I decided to reject my book like Little Man did and this is why we both ended up being punished. Whip after whip, it felt as if it was never going to end. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt apart from when dad told us he was leaving. Well, that was a different kind of pain; it was more of an inner pain, right across the heart.

            After school I spoke with mama and she did not appear to be very upset with Little Man and I. She somehow agreed with us more than with Miss Crocker, although Mama didn’t think whipping us was wrong. She luckily glued a paper on top of every book so that the stupid table was unseen. I felt sort of bad for mama, since she was later on in trouble because of this. She only tried her best I guess, but still the paper was something and it was going to stay there, unseen, but there.